Los Angeles, CA

My Internet has been knocked out for nearly a week, and when I come back all ready to catch up on LA (since the Internet is my newspaper), all I’m hearing about is Britney Spears’s breakdown last night! The sad thing is that everyone has been able to see this coming for months now. Honestly, I’m surprised something didn’t happen sooner, especially with her need to drive all day and all night just to be doing something.

Anyway, last night at around 8 PM the police were called because Britney refused to hand over the kids to her ex-husband’s bodyguards. After a three hour standoff in which Britney was reportedly locked in the bathroom with the children, she was taken away in an ambulance and both she and the children were examined at Cedars-Sinai. The boys were released around 4 in the morning and went to Kevin Federline’s, while Britney was admitted and is under watch. There are rumors that she was drunk, or high, or both, though some are saying that she’s just erratic because she’s having a breakdown. Either way, I’m sick of people insisting on watching someone get to this point without ever lifting a finger to help, and getting entertainment out of someone else’s pain. There’s shadenfreude, and then there’s sadism, and I think we as a society have hit the latter. Most people aren’t watching that lame TMZ show every day hoping to see someone be rude to a conceited starlet, they’re hoping to see someone get punished or hurt badly.

Sorry, I’m not supposed to be here to morally lecture, but hopefully this will be the first and last time I post about any of this. If you want a gossip rag, go to a gossip rag. If you want to read about Los Angeles and all that it has to offer outside of paparazzi, come here. The two won’t mingle here any more.

The L.A. Times today has an article about a proposed new program that will make green cards harder to forge, but it will also crack down a lot harder on all holders of green cards. Before, all green cards were valid indefinitely, and the new proposal would force all green card holders to come in to be fingerprinted and photographed. It would also mandate that all previous green cards — from 1979 on — would be null and void and all would either have to renew and update their cards or face deportation. The new cards would also be good for only ten years, so all holders would have to renew their cards.

The department of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services has also admitted that this is a way to round up and nab some green card holders that have turned to crime. By having their photographs and fingerprints in their database, they could catch perps from older crimes that are facing deportation. While many are saying that this new policy is necessary to provide all residents of the U.S. with greater security, and that this action is no different than what legal residents have to do to hold drivers licenses or state ID cards, others are arguing that this is pretty much forcing legal immigrants to turn themselves in and possibly being deported for crimes they have committed. If they were to avoid updating their green cards, it would be next to impossible for these immigrants to leave the country or change jobs.

To read more about the possible new system and what people are saying about it, go here.

In a new article out by the L.A. Times, California leads the country for the most juveniles serving life sentences in prison. The only state to beat us for this dubious honor is Pennsylvania, and the United States is by far the leader of the entire world when it comes to juveniles locked up for life, with 2,387 lifers serving. 227 of those are our kids. Actually, the United States and Israel, the country that came in at #2 with seven juvenile lifers imprisoned, are the only two countries in the world to sentence underage criminals to life sentences.

Even more unfortunate for California, a disproportionately large number of our young life sentence servers are minorities — young black men, if you were curious. According to the L.A. Times, black men are twenty times more likely to receive a life sentence than criminals of other colors. Even more startling, the report found that over 50% of these young people serving life sentences were given this harsh sentence for a first time offense.

In response to this, Senator Leland Yee from San Francisco is trying to push through a new law that would allow those juveniles given life sentences a chance to apply for parole after 25 years, arguing that these people should not be given up on, and still have the potential for rehabilitation and reintegration into society. Still, serving 25 years before even getting a chance at parole sounds like an eon. Should underage criminals ever be sentenced to life without parole?

You can read the full article here, if you’re interested.

Though this exhibit opened in October, I still feel it’s worth sharing (one, because I wasn’t here in October, and two, because it’s freaking Dalí!). The Los Angeles County Museum of Art has a great retrospective on Salvador Dalí’s work up right now, and while it features his trademark surrealist paintings which were his main claim to fame, the well-rounded exhibit also features his lesser-known film work, including his collaborations with director Alfred Hitchcock on the film Spellbound. Work from his recently unearthed short film Destino, made with Walt Disney, will be shown as well.

A little bit of history for you: Salvador Dalí was born on May 11, 1904 in Spain to a strict lawyer father and a more understanding mother. Dalí’s mother, whom he worshipped, encouraged his artistic endeavors. He attended drawing schools and discovered modern painting at the age of twelve and started exhibiting his work at the age of fifteen. At the age of eighteen he moved to Madrid and attended the School of Fine Arts, but was expelled when he decreed that no one on the staff was competent enough to judge his works. Not letting that stop him, Dalí traveled to Paris and met Pablo Picasso, and eventually ended up working with Luis Buñuel, writing the script for Un Chien Andalou. It was also the year that Dalí would meet his future wife.

Dalí’s fame steadily grew from there, and in 1931 he painted what is arguably his most well-known piece, The Persistence of Memory (above). He also grew more and more eccentric, showing up in public wearing women’s bras under glass, diving suits, and of course his trademark moustache. Dalí and his wife moved to the U.S. at the start of World War II, and in 1942 he published his autobiography, The Secret Life of Salvador Dalí. As he grew older, Dalí became increasingly interested in math, physics, and his old religion of Catholicism. His work with optical illusions inspired a young Andy Warhol. Unfortunately, Dalí had to ultimately give up his art when his wife accidentally gave him a bizarre concoction of medicines that wrecked his nervous system and left his right hand ruined. Shortly thereafter his wife died, and Dalí lost his will to live. Seven years later, and after many failed suicide attempts, he followed her in death.

This was just a severely abridged version of Dalí’s life. If it was at all interesting, please read more, either through his Wikipedia page, or by a biography.

Dalí: Painting & Film will be on display at the LACMA through January 6th, 2008. Note that tickets to the Dalí exhibit are separate from general admission to the museum. You can read more about the exhibit through LACMA’s website here, and get more detailed ticket information here.

“Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure — that of being Salvador Dalí.”

Insatiable shoeaholics who desire to be as happy as a kid in a candy store will find FOOTCANDY offers high heel nirvana.

Located at 11934 San Vicente Boulevard in Brentwood, true expressions of your obsession await your feet, from coveted shoe designers including Manolo, Christian Louboutin, and Casadei, all wrapped in a Parisian chocolaterie ambience. Arm candy connoisseurs will be equally pleased, with handbags from Jimmy Choo and more.

Xiomara Zelaya and Robyne Wilson are the co-owners of the Brentwood salon, which is the first Southern California franchise location for founders Perry and Carolyn Butler of Napa Valley. Proving to be more than just a shoe salon, what sets FOOTCANDY apart is the art gallery presence of shoe displays, attention to detail, and -most importantly- customer service.

And if that’s not enough to satisfy your sweet tooth, indulge in one of their treats, which involve in-store private shopping and goodie bags…

YUM!!!

A growing clientele has caused me to relinquish my duties as a blogger for all things Los Angeles. I hope you have enjoyed my contribution to 451 Press; my sister blogger Paris will keep you abreadst of the kinetic energy of L.A.!

My last post will be this Friday, so stay tuned…

Now here’s one way to alleviate road rage. Hot Air Adventures provides aerial experiences high above Temecula Valley Wine Country. Consider a balloon ride as a unique option for a wedding proposal, $650 night-into-morning journey or the aphrodesiac-inspired “Mile High” excursion, hovering 5280 feet in the sky…

And you thought you had airline bragging rights. But I bet Jet Blue never handed you complimentary His and Her “Mile High” pins with the pretzels.

My all-time fave flower is the orchid, primarily because it reflects my personality; often misconstrued as complex, yet relatively low maintenance. But what David Stanley - deemed the Orchid Wrangler - creates goes beyond a clay pot-clad Phal; he creates works of art with orchids encased in his signature Black Truffle Boxes (above).

Located at 8365 W. Third Street, delivery is available within the greater Los Angeles area. And for a great gift idea for those born with a brown thumb, he offers a DVD with instructions on care and feeding.

BTW, I promise to act surprised when receiving any deliveries of his couture arrangements…

What do you get when you squeeze the theory of 80,000 Bob Smiths within a workshop?

Analyzation.

Challenge your I.Q. at a screening of Neil Abramson’s film Bob Smith U.S.A., being held at Center For Inquiry West. Your thinking cap is required to rub elbows and wits with brainiacs in this discussion.

When: Sunday, August 19th
Where: 4773 Hollywood Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90027
Time: 11AM
Cost: Price: $6 (or $3 for students)
323-666-9797

Show me a service that caters to me, and I’ll show you a service that will be on my speed dial.

Serve The Goddess might just end up at the top of my list, offering a mobile spa service complete with massages, facials, and my definition of the mother of all pedis: their Foot Rejuvenation Treatment bath of natural salts, lavender, tea tree and rosemary essential oils… Calgon, who?!!!

Reserve a Mother and Daughter Spa Package, or purchase a gift certificate for that overachieving friend of yours. And be sure to gift her with their Palm Reading, which will clearly tell her to slow down.

Truly the definition of bliss; the only thing missing is the peeling of a grape.

Call 323-993-6055 to book your individual, couples or group session.

If you think Destiny’s Child was the ultimate diva group, then you don’t know jack. And obviously have never heard En Vogue a cappella. And if you have to ask what OPP means, you can’t afford to miss Nike’s 5-mile race called, Nike Run Hit Remix: The PowerSong Edition, Saturday, September 15, 2007 at 9AM at the LA Memorial Coliseum. The registration fee is $31 through August 28th, and rises to $39 thereafter.

Dawn Robinson (former lead singer of En Vogue), Naughty by Nature, Sir Mix A Lot, and The SugarHill Gang will serve as musical cheerleaders along the course. But hang onto your Nike headband; MC Hammer will be at the finish line to celebrate with a concert, showcasing his authentic dance moves.

In the meantime, Niketown is getting you acclimated with a FREE six week program, being held at various locations through September 13th.

Author Jim Pascoe will be discussing and signing copies of his kid-appropriate, fantasy manga Undertown Volume 1 tomorrow. Kudos to all who are responsible in getting our youth’s eyes away from computer screens and onto the pages of creative expression.

Date: Saturday August 11, 2007
Where: Mystery Book Store
1036 C-Broxton Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90024
Time: 1:00 PM

A tubular childhood pasttime gets grown and sexy, with $29 workout sessions. Hoopnotica is the new core-strengthening, giving you a run for the Janet abs and dance skills. This is one ring you’ll get to slip on with a commitment to yourself; burning off fat and and uncontrollable giggles. And if you’re not quite ready to work your hips in public sessions, you can always order the DVD.

I’m the first to admit that life sometimes gets away from me. Hormones, heat indexes and plain ol’ crazy folks can come out of the woodwork, testing my faith and patience. Aside from a well-placed, pin-cushioned doll, soothing teas are a more sensible approach. Zen Zoo Teahouse, founded by J. Alfred Ritter and Linda Yu, offers Asian cuisine and tea beverages with a serene ambience to de-stress all things chaotic.

Their popular Zodiac Zenfusions are made with tapioca (a chewy Chinese gummy bear consistency) called “Black Pearls”. Reason alone to escape into the tranquil walls of one of their three locations.

Ahh, drive-ins; vivid memories of my parents taking advantage of my small build by concealing me on the floor of the back seat. Now that I think of it, maybe that’s why I’m not keen on sitting in the back seat of cars…

In lieu of your diminuitive children, take advantage of balmy nights and stellar movie openings at Pacific Vineland Drive-in. One of the dinosaurs left to enjoy summer cinematic enjoyment, this drive-in is open year-round, has expanded to 4 screens, with an overall capacity for over 1500 cars. Part of the drive-in experience was the raggedy intercom, threaded thorugh the cracked car window that never stopped the mosquitoes from feasting. Fortunately, Vineland’s audio is provided by FM stereo radio broadcast.